I am your Soul.

And there is something I wish to share with you.

Photo by Lê Tân on Unsplash

Dear human friend, I, the very Soul, would like to try to share my story with you. To make you realize why you are here, separated and yet together, each one by themselves and at the same time inevitably bound as one. I will try to speak with your words, as mine would not make any sense. Not even to me. So please, read carefully.

Once upon a time, it was just me. I was a no one in a non-dimensional empty space. Or maybe I was in a dimension of some kind, that felt like everything and nothing at the same time. Wait, “felt like” is not the word I am looking for. Let’s say, that there were no feelings at all. And no thoughts. There was nothing but me. As I was lacking a mind, I have no memories, I cannot even remember if it was dark or if not. I guess, probably there was not even a way to see light or darkness, if it existed. In my memories, nothing existed. Not even me. Nevertheless. I did. I existed. And it was just me. Alone and lost in a space that was open as hell and that imprisoned me perfectly.

One day, this intangible urge grew inside of me. I did not understand it at first. I assume, I felt something comparable to pain, imbalance, or suffering. That feeling inside became bigger and bigger. Until I was so stuffed with innumerable dimensions of emotions and thoughts that I could not understand or get rid of. I felt overwhelmed and was about to vomit. It was a sensation of wanting to burst. But where would I vomit into, what space would hold what I was about to burst out? I decided, to collect myself and hold it. Hold it just a bit longer. All alone I was in a meaningless and empty space. And I felt stuffed, so stuffed with all that loneliness, meaninglessness, and emptiness. Trying to hold it all in, made me suffer even more.

And it got so overwhelming, that I imploded or I exploded one day. I do not know, which of the two, as inside and outside makes no difference to me. At least, it was a release. I released everything. And as I vomited and burst material stuff that was feasible, I brought something into being, what I had been hiding inside of me without knowing what it could be for so long. This release included floods of salty water running out of me as well. I cried.